Today, I was depressed. I lost Faith that all of this was going to get better. I realized that this is going to be way harder than I thought. I have had multiple serious relationships and a few engagements but I definitely wasn't as into them as I was this relationship, engagement, and wedding. But today, I had the worst day but the best day during this heartache. And let me point out that he isn't the bad person in all this. We had our ups and downs but we made this decision together to save our very long friendship.
Tonight after watching Real Talk Kim at 9 pm on Facebook, I realized that I need to let it go. That I need to listen to God and do what I was told and not to stress over it. I also realized that this depression I am going through needs to stop. We both made this decision for the sake of our friendship and the kids. I can't continue to be depressed over this relationship. I want us to continue to be friends and hang out but I finally realized today in order for me to be happy with the decision that we made, I need to find peace and have faith that God will take care of everything and that God has a plan for our lives, together or not.
I know that I have said some of this stuff before but I can't stress over how much having faith in God means! Matthew 6:34 says, "Pray more, worry less." Another good verse that I love is Isaiah 43:2 says, "When you go through deep waters, I will be with you."
Faith is something you have got to hold onto. The things I have gone through in my life has made me lose faith multiple times and today was one of those days. I struggled today! I let the devil get me so far down that I lost faith in the Lord above who will never leave me! But no more! That devil will not get the best of me and make me lose my faith anymore.
Dear God, tonight I pray that you will remind me every day not to lose faith in you. Lord, I want to thank you for blessing me with 3 beautiful children, a roof over our heads, and food to eat. Also my job and a safe place for my children while I work. I just pray that someone, somewhere out there is reading this and it helps them find their faith again. The devil got me down today Lord and I hope you can forgive me and give me strength to fight him off the next time he tries. Lord, I just pray for everyone hurting with depression, suicidal thoughts, anxiety, cancer, sickness, or just needing faith and love, that they know that you will never leave them or forsake them. I pray that you will keep everyone safe and that we all have a wonderful, God filled day tomorrow. Pour your love over everyone dear Lord and help me get through these tough times because I know when I get to the end of this hardships you have something amazing waiting on me. I love you Jesus. In Jesus name, AMEN!
Have a wonderful night! I love you all!!
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