Its been so good!

This week has been so good!! 


This week has been amazing.  After my last blog I did, I surrendered all of my problems to God and I have not had any anxiety attacks, any fear, and my faith has grown in the past week more than it has ever.  Faith that God will take care of my kids and I for the rest of our lives because we will live for Him. 

This Sunday, October 13th, is the day I was supposed to get married and I know that if I wouldn't have surrendered it all, this week would have been full of emotions.  But I have yet to cry once, have yet to even think about the wedding until now.  This Sunday I am going to be happy instead of worrying or having anxiety.  Because I am not ALONE!  God will forever be with me and forever and will take care of us!

I am so blessed for the Lord.  I have spent my days with my kids, reading my Bible, worshiping our King, praying and not having to worry about a thing! It was like everything was lifted right off my shoulders.  I had a sudden peace about everything.  Because I am not ALONE!  God will forever be with me and forever and will take care of us!   

If anyone is having a tough time letting go and letting God, I promise you it will be 100000 x's better once you do.  If you don't know me, I am a yeller.  I try my best not to yell at my kids but it just happens.  I also yell when I talk sometimes.  But since my last blog, I have not yelled at them but once.  My anxiety has completely went away and I have not taken my anxiety medication in a week and a half.  I have not had anymore fear on how I am going to live as a single mother again.  I know I have done it before and God provided but this time I am in a deeper relationship with God that I am not worrying about it.  I am going to continue to live and continue building my relationship with God and continue to be radically in love with Jesus.  That way I do not have to worry, fear, have anxiety about anything.  Praise the Lord!! 

This week, I called some people and forgave them for everything they have ever done to me.  I felt such a relief to let go of all that stuff in the back of my mind and I have changed!!  And I claim it in the name of Jesus! The kids and I have had a good week with being able to play outside, being able to pray together, worship God together, and being able to just enjoy time together instead of all the yelling and not getting along.  This week in our home, we have learned that we need to show love instead of frustration.  We need to use our manners and show love to each other like Jesus did to us.  The kids are doing fantastic with it.  I am so blessed to have these precious babies.  God knew what he was doing when he gave me these three.  

I am so blessed that God allowed me and trusted me to be their mommy!  I will not mess it up and I will raise you three to be warriors for Christ! I promise you that!  

1 Peter 5:7 says "Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you."

Matthew 6:34 states, "Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself.  Each day has enough trouble of its own." 

Don't lose Faith!

I lost Faith today but got it back. 

Today, I was depressed.  I lost Faith that all of this was going to get better.  I realized that this is going to be way harder than I thought.  I have had multiple serious relationships and a few engagements but I definitely wasn't as into them as I was this relationship, engagement, and wedding.  But today, I had the worst day but the best day during this heartache.  And let me point out that he isn't the bad person in all this.  We had our ups and downs but we made this decision together to save our very long friendship.  

Tonight after watching Real Talk Kim at 9 pm on Facebook, I realized that I need to let it go.  That I need to listen to God and do what I was told and not to stress over it.  I also realized that this depression I am going through needs to stop.  We both made this decision for the sake of our friendship and the kids.  I can't continue to be depressed over this relationship.  I want us to continue to be friends and hang out but I finally realized today in order for me to be happy with the decision that we made, I need to find peace and have faith that God will take care of everything and that God has a plan for our lives, together or not.  

I know that I have said some of this stuff before but I can't stress over how much having faith in God means!  Matthew 6:34 says, "Pray more, worry less."  Another good verse that I love is Isaiah 43:2 says, "When you go through deep waters, I will be with you."  

Faith is something you have got to hold onto.  The things I have gone through in my life has made me lose faith multiple times and today was one of those days.  I struggled today! I let the devil get me so far down that I lost faith in the Lord above who will never leave me!  But no more! That devil will not get the best of me and make me lose my faith anymore.  

Dear God, tonight I pray that you will remind me every day not to lose faith in you.  Lord, I want to thank you for blessing me with 3 beautiful children, a roof over our heads, and food to eat.  Also my job and a safe place for my children while I work.  I just pray that someone, somewhere out there is reading this and it helps them find their faith again.  The devil got me down today Lord and I hope you can forgive me and give me strength to fight him off the next time he tries.  Lord, I just pray for everyone hurting with depression, suicidal thoughts, anxiety, cancer, sickness, or just needing faith and love, that they know that you will never leave them or forsake them.  I pray that you will keep everyone safe and that we all have a wonderful, God filled day tomorrow.  Pour your love over everyone dear Lord and help me get through these tough times because I know when I get to the end of this hardships you have something amazing waiting on me.  I love you Jesus.  In  Jesus name, AMEN!

Have a wonderful night!  I love you all!!